Let me start by saying, I love socks. I love them more than nap time, glitter glue, and sliding down the hallway in my belly. However I also love donuts. Deeply. Passionately. Frosting-first.
So one fateful Tuesday morning, after a particularly exhausting night sorting 347 odd socks and one mysterious glove, I made a mistake.
A delicious, squishy, icing-filled mistake.
☕ Scene: The Break Room
There it was. Sitting innocently on the counter. Round. Pink-frosted. Sprinkled with rainbow hope.
“A donut!” I declared.
Now, was it weirdly fuzzy? Sure.
Was it oddly elastic? Yes.
Did it smell slightly of lavender foot spray? …Maybe.
But I was tired. I was hungry. And I have poor impulse control.
🍩 The First Bite
I took a heroic chomp and immediately knew something was very, very wrong.
The frosting was… thread.
The center was… toe-shaped.
And I was 87% sure I had just bitten into Miss Match’s limited-edition “Strawberry Sprinkle Ankle Sock.” I still had a sprinkle stuck between my fangs for three hours.
🚨 Immediate Sock Emergency
I ran screaming into the design lab:
“WHO LEAVES A SOCK THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A DONUT?!”
Captain Comfy sighed.
Toe-rrific Tina fainted.
Static Steve zapped the microwave in protest.
Miss Match just shrugged and said,
“That sock was meant to confuse. It did its job.”
🧦 Moral of the Story?
Always sniff before you snack or better yet, label your novelty socks and store your pastries somewhere sock free.
Side note: we’re now banning edible-looking socks from the Soxy Beast product line. Probably.
❤️ One Final Bite of Wisdom
Some socks are made to be worn. Some donuts are made to be eaten. But when you blur the line between foot fashion and bakery delights… You end up with a flossy filling and a very confused monster.
Stay beastly,
Linty 🧌
